Occasionally a strange sensation seems to overtake me in the early morning hours. I will begin to emerge from my sleep with an idea, not anxious but growing. The longer I contemplate, the more solid and developed the thought becomes. I then become driven to capture my thoughts, not only so others may read, but that I may process and learn as well. I am not sure this is a good thing, for I no longer enjoy rest as much as thought.
If I have been scheduled to speak somewhere, then I understand the source of my distracted sleep, and occasionally will jot down notes on a pad (one that contains its own source of light for my wife’s sake) which I keep at my bedside. I then may return to sleep, as I will have scheduled time later for that preparation. Usually those thoughts are specific to the audience to whom I shall speak, and may be related to some recent life experience or recent reading. However, as with this morning, there are times that my thoughts are open ended and free flowing, as if there is something to be captured not yet experienced.
As I lay on my pillow, long before daylight this a.m., the two words “containment” and “partnership” repeatedly came to mind. Containment being what we typically do with our faith. I believe I am a spirit, housed in a vessel, yet co-occupied by a Being greater than myself. Yes, I am a container of God.
Yet, when I ponder or attempt to language those beliefs to others, or to this same God in prayer, He is so much more audacious than my limited self could ever accommodate. Like when I look up into the heavens each new day on my retrieval of the morning newspaper, He is both up there and in “here”. Nothing new to my readers thus far.
Partnership though, takes us to another plane. If I allow God to be who I say He is, One who sits over the universe, while having taken on the form of a man (not only for my redemption, but for my cognitive benefit) with an attitude of advocacy for me, that’s huge! Beyond comprehending, unless one is in fact “occupied.”
I just took down a sticky note that I have had at my desk for some time; on the note I had earlier attempted to define advocacy: A person of influence who is where I need to be, who believes in me and is willing to risk their own position of influence to get me there. That my friend is who Christ is!
God, who is not a man, became flesh to demonstrate His love for me. He risked His glorious position as Creator to reposition His creation. “He paid a debt He did not owe, I owed a debt I could not pay, I needed someone…” an advocate, a partner. That partnership is now sealed and recorded and the physical heavens now set at my beckon if need be! He could have called ten thousand angels, but He died alone for you and me.
Shall I now dare contain this awesome partner in the small self that i am? Would it not be better to step outside what life has told me that i am and walk along side the I Am, who was, and is, and ever shall be? I am sounding more religious than I desire.
Shall I fear the challenges of life as I lead others, given the ocean of advocacy that I have both within and around me. The heavens are mine, the galaxies were made for me. I have belittled Him by my inability to fully engage with Him.
I have held Him too close, like a firefly in a Mason jar. Today, dare I take the lid off my small jar?